Newport...

We had such a great weekend spent with family. We rented a house in Newport, Oregon and met up with my parents and my sister, her boyfriend Seth and my nephew, Josh. I wish all my siblings could have made it but we are all spread out. We spent some time on the ocean, and Grace loved hanging out with her Dad, and Seth. She beat Seth over the head with a brush and hid his shoes...a sure sign he won her heart. We rented a great house in walking distance to the ocean. The house was awesome, and most of our time was spent just hanging out, playing games, laughing and staying up late. We took the kids to the wax museum and Ripley's. They had a total blast and thank goodness they did, because it wasn't cheap! But, it was worth it to see their faces at all the cool exhibits. Overall the weekend was awesome. It was a time we will all cherish. I only hope more of us can be together next time we make such a great time happen.

Fashionably correct...

Life never gets dull when you have a couple of drama queens prancing through the house...

Happy Birthday to my young/old soul...

Halee is a child that brings me happiness. All of my children do, but lately she has shined like a light that all of us need around. For her birthday we gave her $100. I asked what she wanted and she named several books she had her eye on. One was titled "How awesome will it be?" speaking of heaven and the life after this one. A tear came to my eye and chills ran through my body as I realized the impact of how valiant this young lady is. That inside of her is not a teenage girl, but an old soul. Her dreams for the future make me so happy. I want happiness for her and all of my children and seeing them make good choices is the greatest gift I could ever receive. I know hard times will come for her and all of my children. They will make mistakes...they already do. So do I! But in my heart I know they want happiness. I will do everything I can, make every sacrifice I must, even crawl on my knees, beg and plead to guide them to that happiness. To real joy. As Chris' late father used to say, regarding being with our families in the next life... "No empty chairs." We love you Halee Mariah Chapman. Happy Birthday my beautiful, wonderful girl.

What does a space ranger...I mean.. stay at home mom, actually do?

One thing the girls love me to do, which I've been doing since Halee was a little girl...is draw paper dolls. I think it's funny that they think I'm artistic enough to do this, because in reality the dolls look pretty ridiculous. I love being with my children. My niece sent a FB message to her mom in which she said... "Dear Mother, Thank you for being a stay-at-home mom. It's meant more to me than any materialistic thing in this world." I admire moms that stay home, especially my own, but I also admire those that juggle it all. I would be a wreck. I love that I am able to be with them. I've been so blessed and am grateful for the time I have each day with them. One day the season will change and I will miss these moments.

Run Scarlett run...

I found Scarlett sitting on my bathroom floor with my running shoes. Maybe it's a sign that she and I will be running together in the future. I hope so.

Rock and Roll...

We headed to Portland Saturday afternoon for a race Tammy and I signed up for almost a year ago. The Portland Rock and Roll Half marathon. We didn’t realize how huge the race would be. We went into it thinking maybe 5000 runners? Think again. We found out at the expo that there would be over 14,000 runners racing. Holy cow. This made me nervous but on the plus side, lots of runners for me equals more adrenaline which helps me perform better as a runner. We drove the course the day before and to our dismay it was lots of climbs. There was a total elevation of close to 400 feet over several miles. But what could we do? We knew we would have to just go for it. The day before the race we went out to Red Robin with our friend Alexis. She helped calm our nerves and we all had a blast. The morning of the race we woke up at 5:40am to drive to the max. The race was at the water front of downtown Portland. And it was a zoo with all the runners and spectators. The race itself started out great. I started at an 8:30 pace and tried to hold that for the first 3 to 4 miles. After that the hills came. A long one first, then several steep short ones. What goes up must come down though, and so I slowed a bit going up and sped up going down to compensate. I sweated like no other and poured water on myself at nearly every water stop. One thing I try to avoid when racing is getting so out of breath that I start to hyperventilate. I have become good at knowing my limits, but at mile 5 after a steep climb I started to feel like I wouldn’t recover. After slowing for a bit and breathing deep I was able to regain control. At mile 11 things got all together better. The course started to go mainly downhill. This was a huge relief to my tired sore body. I gave it my all and ran as fast as I could without killing myself for the last two miles. I came in at 1:55:48. A slight PR from my Eugene race 1 year ago. Unlike Eugene, this race was much more grueling. However, It was such a great experience running with so many people who had the same goals as I had...finishing. I saw a lot of the same people along the way because we all ran about the same pace that day. It was a warm fuzzy feeling knowing we were all in this together, for our own individual reasons. After the race Tammy and I watched and cheered on other runners coming in. And later that day we continued to see people. It occurred to me how proud I was of all the people who ran that day. Fast, slow, and slowest. They were out there accomplishing something great. It was a great feeling. I’m proud of Tammy for giving it her all as usual. She continues to amaze me with her goals, and determination. Running with her has made us even greater friends, if that’s even possible. After the race we located a 24 hour fitness and soaked in the hot tub and took a shower. It was pure bliss. I was happy to come home to my family. Chris is such a support to me in my desire to run. Running makes me happy. Running makes me smile.

I like this job...

Chris isn't going to do Mother's day half way. He never has, and never will. He has the ability to make me feel like I am the most special woman on earth. If there's a room full of beautiful women, I know he's only looking at me. I'm blessed in every way to have him. My children made it a spectacular day too. I can't tell you how many times Grace asked "is it almost Mother's day yet?" as though it were Christmas. They each got me adorable little gifts...and heartfelt cards. To be honest, I'm not sure where I would be had I chosen a different path from motherhood. I know with every part of my soul that raising these wonderful people has taught me more about love, and compassion, and kindness, and joy than any other thing on earth. I wouldn't trade that for any other accomplishment in the world.

My mother means the world to me...

Happy Mothers Day to my Mother. She taught me on a daily basis as a child the true meaning of of what it means to be selfless. She sacrificed any and all personal desires to serve her family. She got me to church every single Sunday of my life, and on time to top it. She took me to any and all church activites because she wanted that for me. I always knew when she came to pick me up from somewhere, she would not be late. I could count on her. She gave me stability. She gave me predictability. I needed that. She taught me about Jesus Christ. Not a word of gossip ever passed her lips. She truly taught me values that I will hold deep in the inner most sources of my soul, forever. I thank heavenly father daily for sending me to a home where abuse did not occur. Where love abounded. Where I felt safe. Thank you mom.

Clues...

I've seen some clues lately that the two oldest boys are growing up. If Austin calls me from school, he no longer says "I love you" when he hangs up. Austin and Connor no longer run around outside in underwear (although they do pee outside) but that's just a guy thing, right? They talk in a deeper voice if they seem to want to impress someone, even though they still have little boy voices. Thank goodness, by the way. BUT, Connor gave me hope that he was still my sweet young boy when he said to me recently "Mom, let's make a bet, if you lose, you have to get a big hug from me." Yep, he's still my little boy.

Maybe later...

When I first became a mom, I was a here and now, at your service kind of parent. The more kids I had, along with a busier schedule...more laundry, more cooking, more shopping, more activities, have turned me into a "maybe later" kind of parent, at times. Let's face it, we've all been there. It's so hard to juggle it all. I try, but it seems someone always wants me to play a game, listen to a story, jump with them on the trampoline, break up an argument...the list never ends...literally. I pick the kids up from school and they actually have to take turns telling me about their day, or it all turns into one transcending nightmare where you'd rather be under the wheel of the car rather than in the drivers seat. One thing I have going for me though, is that I have a dear husband who tries to pick up the slack where I leave off. He too can be a "maybe later" kind of guy, but like me, he is trying. On this day when we all went on a picnic and Connor wanted to play football and Grace wanted to be swung around a million times until Chris felt sick, I felt so grateful for him in my life. I also felt grateful that even though "maybe later" is recited in our home more than I'd like, there is also an awful amount of love.

If the sun won't come to you, you come to the sun...

A few days ago when we were still stuck in rainyville, Grace put on my swimsuit and created her own beach/tanning area. She must have laid here for half an hour taking in the sun...I mean kitchen lights. She read her magazines and lounged. She's a girl after my own heart.

Smile...

Do you ever go into a store, and get stuck with a checker, or employee that hates their job and they seem to have their panties in a wad? Well, I don't like when this happens. It makes me literally want to force a smile on their grumpy, mean little faces. There's a girl at Walmart that treated me this way recently. A few weeks later I noticed that instead of checking, she is now gathering carts from the parking lot. I wasn't surprised. We all need to smile a little more. It's a proven fact that if you are down.. and you smile for an extended period of time, even if it's totally fake...it will actually lift your spirits. Maybe next time I see the grumpy walmart troll/girl, I will even smile at her. It couldn't hurt, right?

Laughing...

Once in a while you just need something to laugh about. This did it for me...

This is big...

Turning 5 is kind of a big stepping stone in my opinion. It's that age where a child is ready for school. Ready to fly the coop. Ready to break mom's heart by being gone more, and being more independant. I will miss my toddler Grace. Toddler Grace has moved on, and now big girl Grace is here. I'm excited to see what this brings, even if it does require a little letting go. Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet Grace.

My dear girl...

I read the letter below this photo...and couldn't help but share it. But first I want to add my two cents. :) One day we will all be old. I have been a baby, a child, a teen, a young adult, and now I don't really know what to call myself...not old...yet. But one day, I will be old, and I pray my children love me the way I love them, with every ounce of my whole being. I know I love my mom with the same love she graced me with as a child. The least I can do, is give back at least a small ounce of that.

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: "My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting ...old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day... the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionaly lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you... my darling daughter. "