Mummy, will you play with us??

The kids and I have a game that has brought lots of laughter and tons of loud screaming into our house. It's called "Mummy." It's where I basically chase them around the house with my eyes zoned out, and my hands and arms extended. This game would go on forever if it were up to the kids. I love to hide around unsuspecting corners, and jumping out at them. Even Scarlett absolutely loves this dark, creepy side of me. I didn't know I had such a talent for being an evil scary person, but I'll take it.

I think I'm ready to talk about it...

So, we recently got a couple of kittens. Cutest kittens ever. I am not much of an animal person, but even I liked these kittens. Plus, they were only 6 weeks old, and so little and dependent, and I am a nurturer...so I enjoyed helping nurture these sweet little things. We had been keeping them in a large cage the last two weeks, (the size of a standard packing box) until they were older to keep them from running away or getting hurt. We would take them out each day and play with them and get their wiggles out.

On Sunday we had some 90 degree weather coming our way. That morning (like every Sunday morning for us) was a little crazy trying to get everyone ready and out the door. I left Halee and Austin home because Halee had some teeth pulled a few days before and Austin stayed behind to keep her company. The kittens were left in their cage, on our back porch. I asked the kids before we left if they had water and they said "a little." I thought a little, would be enough until we got home. I was wrong.

When we got home, I immediately went to check on the kittens, and to my shock they were both dead. The kids found them too, and were so sad and mostly shocked at first. They were stiff and it looked as though they had been dead for at least an hour. I never grew up with pets. We had one dog, that we gave away. I had never had a pet die, and my children haven't either. We all went inside, and I don't know what happened to me, but I lost it. I started crying, and I COULD.NOT.STOP. Chris tried to calm me down, and I just kept crying. This went on for 1/2 an hour. I tried! Pretty soon (and to no surprise)Connor and Christian started crying too. We buried the kittens, and all cried some more.

I have been trying to figure out why I cried so hard, and I still cringe with guilt whenever I remember finding them. I have come to the conclusion that it's not the fact that the kittens died, or are gone...it's because they suffered, in that hot sun, with no water, and no shade. It was all my fault. I should have known better. At least that's how it felt. I felt like I killed the kittens. It made me think of the mother I saw on Oprah a few years back, that accidentally left her child in her car when she went to work, thinking the child was with her husband...and later finding her dead in her car seat on a day where temps were above 90 degree's. I cried for that mom when I was crying for these kittens. She must have felt horrible inside for not being able to save her child. I have decided to stop blaming myself. I have learned though. I will never let something like this happen again to anyone, or anything.

We will miss the kittens, but I am so grateful that even though my kids were upset, each one of them, at one point, said "at least they are in heaven, in a happy place."

The day my children became orphans...

You know those days where your kids are bored out of their mind, and all you want to do is turn on the T.V or let them play computer games just to keep them out of your hair? Well, on this day we turned to more creative/weird things. The girls became baby orphans. I was the owner of the orphanage. We pretended that they had been abandoned on our doorstep. I wrapped them up nice and tight in a blanket and they absolutely loved it. I will admit, I don't play with my kids nearly as often as I should, but when I do...I never regret it.

Halee's Trek update...

Hi, this is Halee, I'm not gonna lie, I seriously did not want to go on trek. I tried to find any kind of loop hole to get out of it. If you know me I am pretty shy, and I do not like being put out of my comfort zone. So when my parents told me I had to go, I was pretty angry. but now that I went I am VERY HAPPY they forced me to go.
One of the experiences on the trek that I had that was hard, is that on the second day, all the boys had to leave their families to go to "war". This meant that the girls had to push the handcarts without them up a very steep hill. Half way up the hill we could see the boys and they were cheering us on, but they couldn't help us yet. But when the leaders said they could help us, they jumped in there as fast as they could and took off! They didn't just lazy around, I mean they rushed in and gave all the girls a break and pushed it the rest of the way up the steep hill. I thought that was pretty cool.
Pushing that handcart everyday, for miles and miles, really helped me realize what the pioneers went through. And we only got a small taste of it, and let me tell you, it was very hard work! I think it is so amazing that the pioneers did that for the gospel. And that shows that the gospel really is true. Because seriously, who wants to hike over miles and miles of hills, and through deep muddy water for a stupid and pointless cause?.... not anyone I know! So I am just really happy I went, and if I could do it again I would do it in a heart beat. I really had an amazing experience on trek!

Rodeo 10k and 3k...

Austin and I decided very last minute to run a race in association with the rodeo that came to town. We drug our tired little rears out of bed...all kids and Chris in tow, and headed to the race around 6:15am. This is very early for me. I hate getting up early...but I am glad I did it.

Austin did so awesome. We started out and when the whistle blew, everyone took off as fast as they could possibly go. Austin started to do the same, but I reeled him in, and assured him that he would most likely pass a lot of those people who were using up all their running fuel in the first half mile. He was glad he used the tactic because he came in 3rd in his age, and got a medal and that made his day. Plus, he thought I was the smartest mom on earth (no need to tell him that I only learned that from true experienced runners, and websites I have researched. It pays to have google.)

I enjoyed the race too. It was a little warmer than I like. If it's above 60 degree's, it's too warm to race in, but it rained which made it much more enjoyable. I started out running around a 9 min, pace. I saw two women ahead and decided to make them my motivation. I finally passed them (barely) and was so afraid of them catching me, it kept me motivated to keep up a decent pace. I kept invisioning them saying to each other in a devilish voice "Let's take that girl OUT." It actually made me run faster...It's okay to think that I'm weird...It is true..I am.

I averaged exactly the same pace I averaged the last time I raced this course. 8:38. I was happy with it, but I would have like an 8:37 better, just so I could have PR'd.

All in all, it was a blast. And you know what the best part was? All of my kids (minus Halee, because she was still at Trek) yelling and cheering me in. It made me proud...not to be a runner, but to a mother of so many children.

You can do hard things...

I have been the wicked witch of the Northwest for around 6 months now. Around the month of January we found out our church would be taking the youth (ages 12 through 18) on a pioneer trek. They would be pushing handcarts for many, many miles. There would be about 300 kids involved. When Halee found out about it, she said there was no way on earth she would be going. She was afraid. Unfortunately for her, she has a very mean, nasty mother that said she was going, whether she liked it or not. Ever since that day, she has been mad at the fact that we were making her go. And the closer it got, the more she worried her little head off. There were times where I questioned our decision in making her go, but I prayed about it tons, and the feeling I got, very strongly...almost like a slap in the face, was that for some reason, heavenly father wanted her there, and Satan did not.

I have asked my parents many times the question "If you could do anything different in the way you raised us, what would it be?" They always say, they would have found ways and situations in which to strengthen our testimonies on a greater level. I personally think my parents did a great job in raising us, but I have taken them saying that, and am trying to apply it to my own life and family. Plus, when it comes to the pioneers, and all they sacrificed, my heart swells like no other. I truly love these people I have never met, and feel a connection with them, in mine and their love for the gospel.

Halee left for the trek yesterday and comes home tomorrow. I am so relieved she is there. I am so relieved that I don't have to be viewed as the evil wicked mother anymore. I can't wait to have her home. I am going to have her post on our blog some of her experiences tomorrow or the next day. I have a feeling it's going to be a really good update.

Boating makes me smile....

Our boat is the greatest family time investment we have made. I have no regrets about getting this lovely little piece of heaven. It is something we can all do, and have fun together. Plus, it was a great price. This is our third Summer with it, and we were finally able to take it out last Saturday. The kids had so much fun. We spent about 5 hours on the water. Our favorite thing to do, isn't tubing or skiing, but just parking the boat in the middle of nowhere and letting the kids play on the tube in the water. We just kick back and eat lots of yummy food, and get a little vitamin D. The getting tan part is actually kind of nice too. Now if only we could get some more sunny days...

Judge me if you want...

But I am just not ready to take Scarlett off a bottle. Yes, she did turn two on June 25th. But the bottle is the love of her life, and once it's gone, she won't be my baby quite as much, and neither of us are ready for that. So, cut me a little slack...after all, she IS my last.:)

I like you...I like you a lot.

I have been thinking a lot about my brother in law that lost his wife six months ago. I have been thinking about how hard it must be to keep on living. How much his girls must want to see their mother. It breaks my heart. I know there is a purpose in it all...but, boy oh boy, it is hard to see it sometimes.

It makes me feel grateful to have Chris in my life. He is my rock...and I know at any time, I could be asked to go through the same thing. Losing, a husband, or even a child. I need these reminders so I remember to tell my family I love them. To forget about the little messes the kids leave. To not get so mad at Halee for leaving her hair straightener and makeup out for the millionth time. For not caring that the boys are so loud sometimes, I want to chop my own ear off. To pick and choose what I feel the need to argue about with my husband.

I am thankful for all these little dears in my life. And more grateful that I can be with them forever...no matter what happens today or tomorrow.